alternative hippopotamus

The Authoritarians (pdf) is a book made available by Bob Altemeyer, associate professor of Psychology at the University of Manitoba. It explains a lot about how the Bushies and Cheneyites are behaving towards Iran.

Take the outcome of one experiment. In the following, RWA (Right-Wing Authoritarians) refers to the degree that one tends to submit to authority figures.

High RWAs tend to feel more endangered in a potentially threatening situation
than most people do, and often respond aggressively. In 1987 my colleague Gerry
Sande and I had five-man teams of male introductory psychology students role-play
NATO in an “international simulation” involving (they thought) another team of
students playing as the Warsaw Pact. Some of the NATO teams were composed
entirely of low RWA students, and other NATO teams were stocked entirely with
highs. (We experimenters secretly played the Warsaw Pact.) The simulation began
with a couple of ambiguous moves by the Warsaw Pact, such as holding military
exercises earlier than anticipated, and withdrawing divisions to rear areas (possibly for
rest, or –as Dr. Strangelove might argue–possibly for redeployment for an attack).
The NATO teams could respond with nonthreatening or threatening moves of varying
magnitudes. But if they made threats, the Warsaw pact responded with twice as much
threat in return, and the NATO team would reap what it had sown as an escalation of
aggressive moves would likely result.

The low RWA teams did not interpret the ambiguous moves at the beginning
of the game as serious threats and thus seldom made threatening moves. The high
RWAs on the other hand usually reacted to the opening Warsaw Pact moves
aggressively, and sowed a whirlwind. Over the course of the simulation, the high
RWA teams made ten times as much threat as the low teams did, and usually brought
the world to the brink of nuclear war.

Sound familiar?

Ken Roth (executive director of Human Rights Watch) asks at a WaPo blog:

“What is the best way to foster democracy in Iran?”

Some skeptics might note that, technically, Iran is older than the US (wikipedia):

Iran is one of the world’s oldest continuous major civilizations, with historical and urban settlements dating back to 4000 BCE, making it a possible candidate for the earliest human civilization.[7][8][9] Throughout history Iran has been of geostrategic importance because of its central location in Eurasia. Iran is a founding member of the UN, NAM, OIC, OPEC, ECO, and seeks to join the SCO.

This makes some pointy-headed skeptics question whether we should be imposing our will on Iran, or even giving them advice. Pish tush! Where does an 800 pound gorilla sleep? Well, technically, they sleep in nests they build in trees, but that’s not the point. They’d sleep in the White House, if they wanted to. For all I know, they do sleep in the White House.

The point is that we need to remake Iran in our own image, now that the surge has succeeded in Iraq.

Here’s some specific things we should try right away:

• Take away the vote from people who live in Iraq’s capital, Tehran. Just like here in DC.
• Currently, the Iranian president is elected by universal suffrage with everyone 15 or older allowed to vote. I think you’ll agree that our electoral college system is much simpler. Florida and Ohio have simplified it to the point where you can predict the result based on the party of the Secretary of State.
• Iran currently separates the president and commander-in-chief roles. That’s got to change. What self-respecting country would prevent their president from bombing the crap out of other countries? Without the God-like power of life and death over others, being president would lack dignity.

TPMmuckraker:

Last June, Glenn Kessler of the Post reported that the State Department’s New Eastern Affairs Bureau received a fax from the Iranians shortly after the U.S. invasion of Iraq:

“It was a proposal from Iran for a broad dialogue with the United States, and the fax suggested everything was on the table — including full cooperation on nuclear programs, acceptance of Israel and the termination of Iranian support for Palestinian militant groups.

“But top Bush administration officials, convinced the Iranian government was on the verge of collapse, belittled the initiative. Instead, they formally complained to the Swiss ambassador who had sent the fax with a cover letter certifying it as a genuine proposal supported by key power centers in Iran, former administration officials said.”

Rice, Security Advisor at the time, didn’t deny that the Iranians made such an overture, adding “I don’t remember reading” such a fax.

Really? I wonder what her to-do list was like that day:

• Pick up leather boots from dry cleaner.
• Ask husband President about B&Bs in Kennebunkport.
• Forward “Mushroom Cloud” soup recipe to Karen Hughes.
• Stabilize Middle East vis-a-vis Iranian proposal.

Doesn’t it always work out that it’s the last thing on the list you forget about?