alternative hippopotamus

I was poking around the internets looking for a history of various radio and tv stations in DC. The area around me includes the bulk of tv stations in the area, and from my place I can see a number of the transmitting towers.

What really surprised me was this site, that documents tv history of yesteryear, including shows that I remember as a kid. A young Jim Henson, anyone? (This has long been a beef of mine. Sesame Street is generally associated with NYC, while the neighborhood depicted is clearly upper 14th Street, NW. Well, that’s clear to me, anyway. Jim Henson was a DC native, and I recall his giving live puppet shows in Rockville when I was quite young. the website I link to includes a puppet tv show he did.)

Here’s the priceless bit. It’s from a show called “Claire and Co Co” that I recall watching when I was quite young:

Milt Wishard, who worked at Channel 7 from 1950 to 1993, recalls: “I was a cameraman on this show and Charles Gibson, (today an ABC anchorman and ‘Good Morning America’ host), was the floor director.

Co Co was a big standard poodle and when she dumped on the studio floor, Charlie had to do the cleanup honors. That’s called working in the trenches.”

I’ll forgo the obvious punchlines (e.g., later, Mr. Gibson co-hosted Good Morning America, where he performed a similar function for Joan Lunden) to note that he now makes $7M/year as anchor of World News Tonight.

Today was about as nice as things get on an early winter day in our fair city. I had made up my mind after an exploratory trip yesterday that I couldn’t let the Christmas break go by without skateboarding on the bike path from Roslyn, VA.

The original concept was to take the path out to Roosevelt Island, come back to Key Bridge, and skateboard into Georgetown. The point being that Metro to Roslyn, and then skateboarding over Key Bridge is probably the simplest way of getting into Georgetown. (It’s a long story. But getting into Georgetown is a pain in the neck.)

What should be the simplest way is taking Metro to Dupont Circle, skateboarding down P St., and then through Rose Park. The reason that this doesn’t work is that bike paths in DC proper are in very poor condition. Which is an understatement. Saying that DC bike paths are in poor condition, is like saying Dick Cheney has problems with openness.

I’ll just emphasize here that we’re not talking about parts of DC that are often victims of neglect. If the Rose Park bike path were in Anacostia, we’d uniformly shake our heads and say “This isn’t right. I demand Mayor Fenty make it his business to get this fixed. ”

Amazingly, we’re talking about Dupont Circle going into Georgetown. Why this part of town has bike paths in a state of neglect I can only call post-apocalyptic is beyond me.

Anyway, I ended up bagging Georgetown this trip. Here’s what happened. I took the path to the Roosevelt Island turn-off, and thought “Man, oh man, this is pretty sweet.” So, I kept going. The path gets a bit rougher after Roosevelt Island, though, and soon, I was looking for the nearest spot to get off the path. So, I high-tailed it across the Parkway, taking the Arlington Memorial Bridge to the Lincoln Memorial. By the deep ruts in the grass, I could tell I wasn’t the first to take this shortcut.

For those of you not familiar with the local geography, there are three bridges crossing the Potomac from Virginia into DC: Key Bridge, Teddy Roosevelt Bridge, and Arlington Memorial Bridge. (Okay, there are other bridges, but they don’t figure into this post.) The bike path on the Virginia side has a fork in it south of Roosevelt Island. The branch to the right goes over the Roosevelt Bridge to the Kennedy Center. The branch to the left goes under Memorial Bridge, past the airport, and into Old Towne. There may well be some official way of getting from the bike path to Memorial Bridge, I’ve just never found it.

Here, a note on equipment is in order. I use a standard skateboard, but with longboard wheels (Kryptonics 62mm, 78a). A better match for the bike paths would be a longboard with, say 70mm wheels. I’ve got my eye on this Sector 9 longboard, as an example. Because the terrain along the Potomac is flat, a larger wheel is definitely worth looking at.

Standard skateboard wheels, on the other hand, would be a total drag on the bike paths, and problematic on the bridges. I would not recommend it at all. On the other hand, a 56mm/medium hardness skateboard would work just fine on Pennsylvania Ave or thereabouts. Freedom Plaza is another thing, entirely. It’s totally made for skating. I mean real skateboarders who can do the shape-shifting required of the sport. What I do is better described as “urban longboarding.”

Back to the bike path. Once you cross Memorial Bridge (kind of rocky, but still fun) you’re at the Lincoln Memorial. The sidewalks here were resurfaced recently, and consequently, are very sweet. The angle from the Lincoln Memorial down to Constitution Ave is just right for a leisurely downhill gait. It’s moments like this when a skateboard feels just like a magic carpet, with occasional bumps as it goes over the cracks in the pavement.

Also worth noting here is that there’s a stretch of asphalt sidewalk on Constitution between 23rd st and 19th st that’s been recently repaved. You step on the magic carpet, push off, and effortlessly, you’ve moved 4 blocks.

Because the knot of visitors today was so, well, knotty, I walked up a couple of blocks to E St. and took that to the White House. I don’t normally visit this part of E St., but you know, it’s nice. I took a breather on a park bench, looking at the local park and the buildings, and I’ve got to say this is a pleasant part of town.

There was a huge crowd around the White House and the Corcoran Gallery (there’s an Ansel Adams exhibit that’s about to close) so I hoofed it up to Pennsylvania Ave., skateboarding near the White House and through Lafayette Park. I wasn’t sure if I could skate on the closed-off section of Pennsylvania Ave, and there may be some kind of laws against it, but I saw an in-line skater with a hockey stick, and thought I was probably less threatening an apparition than him.

So, I skateboarded in front of the White House today. That’s something I should put in my scrapbook.

All, in all I travelled about 3 or 4 miles. Over a 2 hour period. So, I didn’t set any land-speed records. But, it was a superb trek through our fair city. I have the weary old bones to prove it.

For the most part I try to write posts that are accessible by folks either on the right or left. I don’t mean that folks on the right are going to enjoy anything that I’ve written. I just mean that they have the same rights to read and comment on what I’ve written as folks on the left have.

In this case I’m going to have to insist that those of you who are of the more redish persuasion sit this one out. This is just between me and the lefties. I’m sure that I’ll write something in the near future that will be just me and the righties, so please don’t pout.

Okay, are all of the righties out of the room? Good. (I thought they’d never leave.)

So, here’s what I’m worried about. Up to this point I’ve cast a discerning eye on the Republican nominees, and… was pretty sure they got nothin’. Now I can tell you there’s an issue that will work well for the Republican party. What’s worse, it unifies issues of illegal immigration and the “War on Terrorism.” It even helps to justify domestic surveillance.

The issue: organized crime. Particularly the Mexican and Central American mafias. I first realized this while watching a show called “Gangland” on the History Channel. The History Channel has inexplicably received a pass on right-wing propaganda, but if you check out their lineup, it’s geared to the evangelical/neocon/America-first trifecta.

“Gangland” portrays the cult-like organization of Hispanic gangs, particularly here in DC. It’s not much of a leap for the viewer to equate these gangs with the organization and behavior of Al Queda.

As an issue this would be almost hand-crafted for a Giuliani general election campaign.

This exchange between Glenn Greenwald and Ezra Klein confused me. Sort of. I had noticed at the time that Glenn had posted something about Ron Paul, and because I have no interest in the life and times of Ron Paul, I just ignored it.

Did you know that reading the blogs is optional? It is. Yes, people will say sometimes that such-and-such a blogger should be required reading, but that, as Willard “Mitt” Romney might say, is meant “figuratively”.

Apparently, the original Greenwald post praised Paul for his positions on civil liberties. This upset Ezra, who pointed out, not entirely diplomatically, that Paul’s position on abortion is not progressive. As he put it: “I find Glenn Greenwald’s defense of Ron Paul’s anti-abortion record deeply bizarre. ‘Look over here, he likes the Constitution’ doesn’t exactly respond to concerns that, in a Ron Paul world, tens of millions of women will be forced to use their bodies to bear children against their will.”

My impression is that Glenn was trying to embarrass the Clintons, Obamas, and Edwards of the World, not advance the Ron Paul campaign. As if the scores of progressive DC insiders that read Glenn’s blog would suddenly say to themselves “You know, this year I think I’m going to vote libertarian.”

Not gonna happen.

That Ezra’s post had a personal edge to it, made me wonder if the dreary late fall/early winter here in our fair city was starting to get to him. It’s been mostly overcast for the last week, which coupled with the proximity of the birth of the founder of Christianity, and the accompanying surfeit of shoppers on their holiday binge, might explain the tone.

Or, he could have been trying to start a pissing contest. Who knows.

Thinking about it I wondered what would happen to the red states if they ever did pass all of the laws that they’ve been just dying to pass, but have been prevented by an “activist” (yet mostly Republican) Supreme Court. Let’s say they finally banned abortion, affirmative action, passed anti-sodomy laws, illegalized unions, got rid of the minimum wage, Social Security, welfare, state-sponsored health care, and banned books from their library that contested any of these issues.

And taught Creationism Science in the public schools. How could I forget that?

I would guess a Fundamentalist overhaul of the red-state legal system would result in mass exodus. Who would want to live there?

I’m wondering if you could take the recently released SimCity Societies and try the Red State hypothesis out somehow. That could make a fascinating 3d simulation.

I remember watching my father march with Augustus Caesar during the Peloponnesian Wars. My good friend William Shakespeare was there, working on a play with my aunt Mary Queen of Scots. My fiancee, Helen of Troy, was trying to get him to call the play “MacRomney”, but I insisted on something to do with my father’s fellow marcher.

Of course, when I say “watched” I mean that figuratively.

I appreciate that ThinkProgress is trying to end the year of Dem achievements on a positive note, but in all fairness they should add “caved like a spellunker about a bizillion times.” Still, they add the Funny Bush Quote of the Day, responding to a Bill Clinton proposal that Bill and Mega Bush go around the world repairing the damage that Micro Bush has done, Micro Bush said this:

It’s what I do during my presidency. I go around spreading good will, talking about the importance of spreading freedom and peace.

Very funny! On the other hand, Robert Parry hypothesizes (hippopotamizes?) that Bill is really saying, in politicalese: if my wife is the candidate don’t use surveillance or other secret data from the two Bush administrations to sabotage her campaign.

Major Creepy Dude watch: Politico reports that FEC chairman and minority vote suppressor Von Spakovsky is the reason that Dems refuse to okay the Republican slate of FEC appointees. That could mean there would be insufficient warm bodies for the FEC to exist in an election year. What’s not clear is whether the Republicans, if they got through somehow, would constitute warm bodies.

Achey Breaky Montana? Ewww. Wake me up when she has Ron Paul’s love child or Karl Rove’s hate child or something worth reporting.

You know who I don’t like? Matt Drudge. Somehow he’s passed himself off to the media heathers of our fair city as a good guy to know. Yeah, though they walk in the valley of falling readership, Drudge comforteth them. He leadeth them beside still web sites. He rocketh their world.

Lately I notice that links from the Drudge Report, particularly to liberal blogs and web sites, attract the nuttier of the fundamentalists. Ordinarily this would be a source of complaint. At least this comment was amusing: (commenter on a David Corn post at Mother Jones):

The left including the Democratic party, the media, Hollywood, and liberals feel that America is a country run by a cult. Christians. They don’t believe Jesus was the son of God in fact most of them don’t believe in God at all. Other than maybe some squishy concept. So they feel as though we as a Christian nation is under the umbrella of a cult. Same as Charles Manson, Jimmy Jones, Harry Krishna.

Whatever happened to Harry Krishna anyway? Is he still doing those Dirty Harry Krishna movies?

I saw this blog on the NYT site on scooters, and I thought it was worth passing on. The premise is that due to the fuel efficiency of scooters (the author singles out the Yamaha Vino, a scooter I’ve had my eye on in case a rich, distant cousin suddenly passes on and leaves me a cool $3k) it’s time we take a look at transportation alternatives.

There’s a number of twists that the article didn’t explore, were over-simplified, or were just off-base. For instance, this line: “The biggest drawback to a scooter is most helmets make you look kind of silly.” That’s not a well-thought-out observation. Picture if you will, you on the Yamaha Vino with your boyfriend/girlfriend riding second spot careening down Connecticut Ave, past Cleveland Park, past the art deco apartment buildings, over the bridges into Dupont Circle. Meanwhile, the author of the NYT blog stands there, arms folded, mumbling something to the effect of “that would look pretty cool if they weren’t wearing helmets.”

Not gonna happen.

Scooters are a perfectly viable alternative to the single passenger car, particularly in an urban environment. I think part of the commenter’s complaint is that if you’re going there, why not opt for a bicycle. Which is true. But, there’s some people who don’t like the idea of physically exerting themselves to get to where they want to go. That’s understandable, particularly if your workplace doesn’t have showers. It’s also possible that the folks who currently opt for SUVs do so to capitalize on what I’ll call the “bad-assedness” of the vehicle. Perhaps some of them would be drawn to a scooter for the same reason.

Last night I went to WABA’s holiday party in their funky Dupont Circle digs. I’ve walked by their offices bizillions of times without knowing: they’re just upstairs from the International Magazine shop on Connecticut and Florida, within spitting distance of the Hinckley Hilton.

Bicyclists are a very interesting group in that they are often so passionate about cycling. I mean, I’m pretty passionate about cycling, but I don’t think I could dedicate my life to it, as many that were there last night have. The word “passionate” has a multiplicity of meanings here, so I should pause to be more clear. One kind of cyclist is “passionate” about the everyday act of getting on a bicycle and going somewhere. It’s the euphoria that comes from getting up speed largely as a result of applying mind to muscle to gear-ratio. Though, gravity helps, too. For example, I was comparing notes with someone last night on what I consider to be a circuitous route to avoid Connecticut Avenue between Van Ness and Dupont Circle. Her take was that she was grateful for the extra miles so she could be on her bike that much longer.

Other people are passionate about biking in the sense of fighting the powers that be. The “powers that be” meaning those who would prefer that DC be turned into LA. You may know someone like the powers that be. They tend to believe that the world was created for cars, or least for their car. The type who would never bike or walk if they can possibly drive there. It takes someone with enormous passion to fight this particular form of conventional wisdom. My helmet is off to activists of this stripe.

The reward is having trails like the bike path between Bethesda and Georgetown. Nice pics here, if you like pics.

Folks at the WABA party last night were very helpful in answering a question that I’ve had: some of the paths in DC are pretty beat up. They would be good for in-line skating or skateboarding, but as they are, they’re just too worn and cracked. The one that’s a real shame for how poor it is, is near the Lincoln Memorial. So, what gives? As I gather, the Park Service is very reluctant to do any maintenance. So, barring a miracle, it’s not likely anything is going to happen. I didn’t exactly get what was the resistance, or if it was more a question of priority. I guess I need to do some digging.

I was going through some documents trying to figure out if the National Park Service ever plans to repave the asphalt surface around the Lincoln Memorial. There are sections on the Tidal Basin side that turn out to pretty good for skateboarding. The path that goes past the Korean War Memorial is even pretty good. The paths around the pond on the northern side, however, are in poor condition, and unusable for skating or skateboarding.

Long story short: I haven’t figured out the repaving schedule. But I did run across this stirring passage on the symbolism of the Mall and environs: (National Park Service, Cultural Landscape Inventory)

The national significance of the Mall cannot be overstated. The central landscape itself, as
defined for this inventory, constitutes the fundamental feature of the Mall, clarifying the vista and
thus the symbolic relation between the Capitol and the Washington Monument, representing the
legislative and executive branches of government (since the Washington Monument stands on
axis with the White House) – the primary design intent of both the L’Enfant and the McMillan
Plans. The Mall is therefore a symbol of American democracy.

Which raised an interesting question: Has George W. Bush visited the Mall? You can find articles about his father visiting the World War II Memorial, or his wife visiting the Museum of the American Indian. How about George? I can’t find any article affirming that he has paid an official or unofficial visit since the insurrection of November 2000.

Could this be for the same reason that Damien can’t enter a church?