alternative hippopotamus

progressive cyberdadaism from our nation’s capital

October 10, 2007

Learning is Fun(damental)

by AltHippo @ 11:15 am. Filed under Uncategorized

Roughly one year ago I bought an XBox 360. I had rarely played video games, but I wasn’t looking at the XBox as a gaming platform, per se, but rather a multimedia platform that could play games, videos and CD’s.

I saw it as a platform that combined interactive 3d graphics and communications through the internet, both IM and voice. I knew it was possible to get a developer’s license for the XBox, though I haven’t attempted any platform-specific development as of yet.

At the time I was looking for a “game” that was more or less along the lines of Second Life, but with the souped-up hardware capabilities of the XBox. Imagine, for instance, being able to take a virtual tour of Paris, with a live host interacting over the web with folks at home in front of their console.

Art and architecture tours, even film fests would plug right into the multimedia capabilities of the platform.

Or, you could hold a virtual political demonstration on a 3d replica of the mall. You could wear a virtual t-shirt, or be holding a virtual banner that expressed your cause. Unlike a real protest, you could chat with someone at the Lincoln Memorial, while sitting inside the Capital Rotunda.

Or, virtual porn. Look, I’m just being realistic.

I’m saying this after playing a recent release: “Kengo: Legend of the 9.” What’s been interesting about this is that the scenes are taken from Japanese history, reflecting the samurai period. The avatars are all based on the legendary samurai of the era. The game moves are all taken from the actual principles of attack and defense in samurai sword-fighting.

There is a certain law of predictability that says that anything I find interesting will be hated by critics. This doesn’t bother me all that much as I think critics are idiots. On that score, this critic didn’t disappoint in his review of “Kengo: Legend of the 9″:

Regardless, what made it to store shelves is barely playable, much less engaging. The only interesting aspect of Legend of the 9 is its connection to Japanese history, as the nine protagonists are renowned samurai from the 17th century. Anyone interested in feudal Japan will certainly recognize such legendary swordsmen as Musashi Miyamoto, Jubei Yagyu, and Ito Ittosai. But none of these characters is given any sort of lifelike characterization, so it’s not like you’re getting a tour of the more colorful personalities of the samurai set. Each is really nothing more than a beefy muscled stereotype that struts around spouting dialogue that would embarrass the screenwriters who penned ’70s kung-fu movies. At least the game’s original Japanese voices are translated solely with captions, so we’re spared the agony of listening to hacks delivering these cheesy lines in spoken Engrish.

After all, who could appreciate something primarily for its historic value? Yes, they got the names, places, dates, language, and sword-fighting right, but didn’t give the characters quirks. Wouldn’t it have been more interesting to have Miyamoto Musashi, author of the Go Rin No Sho, wield a nuclear-powered chain saw?

I really question the “cheesy lines” bit. Doubtlessly, the critic would have preferred to hear lines like: “Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids,” or other bits from “Kill Bill,” but the dialogue rang true to me.

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hip·po·pot·a·mus n. A notion, perhaps distinct from conventional wisdom, that needs to be verified by reality-based scrutiny.

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