In Loving Memory of My Brother Scott, 1955-2007
Scott died peacefully at his home in Gaithersburg, MD this afternoon. My mother said “Goodbye.” Scott waved goodbye with the fingers of his hand. And he left us.
I want to spend a little more time talking about what Scott meant to me. But, that’s going to need to wait for another day.
Update: I want to thank everyone who commented here, emailed, called, etc. It really means a lot to me.
If there was a single most cathartic moment it was talking to my cousin Dick, a Methodist minister, now retired. He’ll be doing the memorial service this coming Saturday. I knew that he was going to ask me about Scott, and things he should say in the service. What caught me off guard was when he asked what from scripture would be most appropriate. While that sounds like the kind of question you might expect, I hadn’t really thought about it.
While I was driving down Rockville Pike a couple of days ago, looking at the sights I knew from my childhood and adolescence, I started to think about Scott, and remembered one of my favorite quotes from Genesis: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” I told Dick that that’s what’s Scott’s life meant to me. Answering that question.
Dick was quiet for a moment and then said: “Well, that really cuts through the whole thing, doesn’t it?”
It does. It goes to myself and Scott. It goes to what our relationships are like with each other, and it goes to where we are right now as a society. Am I my brother’s keeper?
As an example, Scott, a 51-year-old man with Downes Syndrome, lived a respectable life in a group home in Montgomery County, MD. He had a job, he had friends, and a rich life. He participated in the special olympics, in basketball, bowling, and towards the end of his life became an accomplished painter. The painting in the picture above is one he had just sold. And when he died, the money that he earned from his job was able to pay the costs of his funeral.
This didn’t happen by accident. It was largely through programs that President Kennedy, who also had a sister with Downes Syndrome, started because he took the question “Am I my brother’s keeper?” seriously.
August 20th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
I’m so sorry.
August 20th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
My thoughts are with you.
August 21st, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Very hard to say so long to someone that young. Peace be with you and with your family.
August 22nd, 2007 at 2:32 am
I am so, so sorry. How eloquent you are in your grief.
August 27th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
I just came over and saw this. I’m very sorry for your loss. It sounds like his death was a peaceful one. According to the person who was with my father when he died, he had what we all imagine to have been a peaceful death and we were very grateful for that.
Again, my condolences.