alternative hippopotamus

progressive cyberdadaism from our nation’s capital

July 5, 2007

Political Science Fiction Theater

by AltHippo @ 4:00 pm. Filed under Uncategorized

Real news, made-up dialogue.

Today’s scene is based on an excerpt from the NYT appearing in today’s Froomkin:

“Because the deliberations were so closely held, those who spoke about them agreed to do so only anonymously. But by several different accounts, Mr. Bush spent weeks thinking about the case against Mr. Libby and consulting closely with senior officials, including Joshua B. Bolten, the White House chief of staff; Fred F. Fielding, the White House counsel; and Dan Bartlett, Mr. Bush’s departing counselor.

“‘They were digging deeply into the substance of the charges against him, and the defense for him,’ one of the Republicans close to the White House said.

“The second Republican said the overarching question was ‘did he lie?’”

Setting: Oval office late at night.

Cheney (enters, closing door behind him): Mr. President?
Bush: I love it when you call me that, Dickles.
Cheney: We need to talk. About Scooter.
Bush: Scooter’s a bright young man. He’s going places.
Cheney: Mr. President, right now Scooter’s going to prison.
Bush: Prison will do him a world of good. Prison is tough love. It’s like… tough. But lovin’. I’m no good at analogies.
Cheney: Scooter would prefer not to go to prison.
Bush: I see. You want me to pardon him.
Cheney: Something like that. Alternatively, I could rewrite the constitution. Again.
Bush: What’s he been convicted of?
Cheney: Perjury and obstruction of justice.
Bush: Did he do it?
Cheney: As far as the obstruction of justice goes, Addington’s come up with a theory that says that any action intended to obstruct the office of the Vice President can’t be illegal, as the office of the Vice President doesn’t exist.
Bush: Did he lie?
Cheney: I leaked something to the NYT which should get him off the hook.
Bush: Sure sounds like he’s not guilty. I’ll just sign this thing right away. You know what I’ll just tell them press people? I’ll just say that I’m kind of tired, as I had a substantial commute today. See? I commuted over 30 months.
Cheney: Good one, Mr. President.

Scene.

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One Response to “Political Science Fiction Theater”

  1. eRobin Says:
    July 5th, 2007 at 7:52 pm

    Brilliant :)

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