alternative hippopotamus

progressive cyberdadaism from our nation’s capital

January 24, 2007

Failure

by AltHippo @ 11:08 am. Filed under Bush

From last night’s SOTU, with a few notes:

“My fellow citizens, our military commanders and I have carefully weighed the options. [the ISG also did some opining, but we came to disregard them as too French] We discussed every possible approach [but in the end decided to go with the irrational]. In the end, I chose this course of action because it provides the best chance of success [or at least will kick the can down the road for 2 more years]. Many in this chamber understand that America must not fail in Iraq, because you understand that the consequences of failure would be grievous and far-reaching [and by many, I mean Joe Lieberman]. If American forces step back before Baghdad is secure, the Iraqi government would be overrun by extremists on all sides. [Sunnis to the left of them, Shia to the right. Stuck in the middle with Kurds.] We could expect an epic battle between Shia extremists backed by Iran, and Sunni extremists aided by al-Qaeda and supporters of the old regime. A contagion of violence could spill out across the country [like so much spilt contagion]— and in time the entire region could be drawn into the conflict. [Believe me when I tell you we’ve already go caricature artists working on the drawing.]”

“For America, this is a nightmare scenario. [Like my reelection] For the enemy, this is the objective. Chaos is the greatest ally . . . their greatest ally in this struggle [oops, almost said “my” there]. And out of chaos in Iraq would emerge an emboldened enemy with new safe havens, new recruits, new resources and an even greater determination to harm America [like American Idol, without the… come to think of it, pretty much like American Idol]. To allow this to happen would be to ignore the lessons of September the 11th and invite tragedy. [Here tragedy, come here, Tragedy. Good boy. Now sit.] Ladies and gentlemen, nothing is more important at this moment in our history than for America to succeed in the Middle East, to succeed in Iraq, and to spare the American people from this danger. [The second most important is not to consider the alternative reality of this being Al Gore’s second presidential term.]

“This is where matters stand tonight, in the here and now. I’ve spoken with many of you in person. [Others, through mental telepathy.] I respect you and the arguments you’ve made. We went into this largely united — in our assumptions and in our convictions. [You assumed I was arrogant and indifferent, and I assumed you couldn’t stop me, so who cares.] And whatever you voted for, you did not vote for failure. [Forgetting the 2004 election, where failure was your only option.] Our country is pursuing a new strategy in Iraq, and I ask you to give it a chance to work. And I ask you to support our troops in the field, and those on their way. [And those on the way home until I extended their tour of duty.]”

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hip·po·pot·a·mus n. A notion, perhaps distinct from conventional wisdom, that needs to be verified by reality-based scrutiny.

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