alternative hippopotamus

progressive cyberdadaism from our nation’s capital

December 1, 2006

Onward Christian Merchandising

by AltHippo @ 4:43 pm. Filed under Uncategorized

World Net Daily:

Are you tired of the annual ritual of Christmas tree burnings and Nativity scene demolition?

Are you sick of being on the defensive each year as the American Civil Liberties Union wars against God in the public square?

How would you like to go on the offensive this year by proclaiming openly your God-given right to celebrate Him whenever and wherever you please?

Right on. There’s nothing like the pleasure you can derive from rubbing your religion in someone else’s face. It’s like Jesus with an attitude.

First, there’s the new magnetic bumper sticker you can use year after year during the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. But don’t just think about this for your car. Think about it for your office filing cabinets, your refrigerator, anywhere you want to make a statement.

[…]

Then, making a return from last year are two similar products that allow Christians – and Christian sympathizers – to let the world know how you feel about this beautiful holiday.

First, there’s the “Reason for the Season” magnetic sticker that is small enough to go anywhere.

And then there’s the “Operation: Just Say “Merry Christmas” bracelets that you can give out to all your friends. Thousands of these were distributed by WND last year and still are in circulation. This year, WND is putting in much bigger orders and starting the promotion much earlier.

If you want to see the ACLU activists turn green and red, just hand them one of these babies.

Like I always say: “better green and dead, than green and red.”

What makes this so perposterous is that WND isn’t just using religion to sell merchandise, they’re using the idea of making other people uncomfortable with your religion to sell merchandise.

WND: Giving the gift of spite this holiday season. Actually, selling it to you.

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5 Responses to “Onward Christian Merchandising”

  1. KCinDC Says:
    December 2nd, 2006 at 6:43 pm

    I’m sorry. but there’s no way that isn’t a parody. Look at the opening sentence: “Are you tired of the annual ritual of Christmas tree burnings and Nativity scene demolition?” Even Bill O’Reilly wouldn’t say that.

    But what does this mean about World Net Daily? Has it been infiltrated? Has it always been a joke site but usually kept it more subtle (perhaps even recruiting a few particularly dim right-wingers to write real columns)? I haven’t noticed this sort of ad-disguised-as-an-article on WND before, but then I don’t read it much.

  2. AltHippo Says:
    December 2nd, 2006 at 7:44 pm

    Funny, I was just going to suggest that we do a Christmas Tree burning and Nativity Scene demolition event with Drinking Liberally.

    Seriously, I saw that bit from WND, and I just didn’t know what to say. It was just too weird for words.

    Parody doesn’t exist when you can just quote someone, and it’s beyond anything a satirist could come up with.

  3. Barzelay Says:
    December 3rd, 2006 at 4:13 pm

    The best part about that was the phrase, “Christian sympathizers.” Are there people out there who are not Christians, but sympathize with their terrible plight at the hands of those notorious oppressors, the ACLU?

  4. AltHippo Says:
    December 3rd, 2006 at 5:47 pm

    Actually the “Christian sympathizers” line did me wonder if this was tongue-in-cheek. I don’t think it is, but it did give me pause.

    I think it’s more likely that the word “sympathizer”, which suggests that one is taking sides in a conflict, is part of the religious right’s War on Christians rhetoric. It’s all about how persecuted the Christians are in modern society at the hands of the secularists.

    It’s important to remember that Dobson et al are trying to rescue the US from the forces of darkness- like the ACLU, the Sierra Club, and Janet Jackson’s nipple.

  5. Bulworth Says:
    December 5th, 2006 at 12:59 pm

    I hope they don’t stop me from burning Christmas trees this year. It’s so much fun.

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