alternative hippopotamus

progressive cyberdadaism from our nation’s capital

March 29, 2006

Flag Waving for Fun and Profit

by AltHippo @ 11:56 am. Filed under Jingoism

Like Glenn Greenwald says in his post Various Matters, I see the flag-wavers on the right and know not what to say. The issue being discussed is who is waving which country’s flag, in what manner they’re waving it, whether the flag is right-side up, or up-side down.

As she-who-shall-not-be-linked puts it in her post THE AMERICAN FLAG COMES SECOND (yes, I know the caps-lock typing hurts your ears, but Michelle really hasn’t learned to use her inside voice yet):

I predict this stunt will be the nail in the coffin of any guest-worker/amnesty plan on the table in Washington. The image of the American flag subsumed by another and turned upside down on American soil is already spreading on Internet forums and via e-mail.

The battle for borders and immigration laws that actually mean something, however, hasn’t even begun.

So, here’s my question: how is it that the folks who are so anxious to export democracy to other parts of the world would prefer to keep at a distance those wishing to experience our democracy first hand?

Maybe an analogy would help to clarify the question. Let’s say your mother makes the best lasagna. It’s so good that you go around telling people how good it is. If someone says that their mother makes better lasagna, you laugh in their face. Or, if you’re the Vice President, maybe you shoot them. You go around nailing the recipe on people’s doors. You sport a magnet on your car saying “This Lasagna Doesn’t Run.”

Then, when someone says: “You’ve convinced me. I’d really like to come over for dinner so I can check out your mother’s lasagna,” we build a big wall to keep everyone away from the lasagna. If they surreptitiously get some lasagna, we throw them in prison. And, if they tell us that they’re proud of their mother’s lasagna too, but admit that our lasagna is better, we mock them. Or, if we’re the Vice President, we shoot them.

There’s a different line of reasoning I’d recommend. It’s a little less reactionary than the Malkins and Powerline’s of the world. As Thomas Paine put it: (Rights of Man)

In stating these matters, I speak an open and disinterested language, dictated by no passion but that of humanity. To me, who have not only refused offers, because I thought them improper, but have declined rewards I might with reputation have accepted, it is no wonder that meanness and imposition appear disgustful. Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good.

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One Response to “Flag Waving for Fun and Profit”

  1. saurabh Says:
    March 30th, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    Actually, we should correct your analogy a little bit. Properly speaking, there’s two kinds of lasagna-eaters: there’s those who say to you, “Hey, lasagna sounds pretty good… can I come eat at your place?” And you say, “Sure.” They come over and eat lasagna. Then there’s those who come over uninvited and eat your lasagna surreptitiously.

    And, finally, the recent bill would be the equivalent of you discovering them eating your lasagna, screaming “Hey!”, dragging them outside and shooting them. Then you go back inside and shoot your little brother for pointing them to the kitchen.

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