alternative hippopotamus

progressive cyberdadaism from our nation’s capital

March 23, 2006

Next Time I’ll Just Say “Plastic”

by @ 3:22 pm. Filed under Bush, rhetorical fallacy, hacks

Lunchtime, I always have to figure out if I’m going to buy a sandwich from the Safeway or the Whole Foods. Safeway’s prices are better, and I’ve trained the woman who makes my Italian sub not to use mayo (In DC they actually substitute mayo for olive oil on Italian subs. Troglodytes.) Plus, the Safeway has Fritos, while Whole Foods just has their crappy low-salt tortilla chips.

On the other hand, the check out people at Whole Foods have superior repartee. Like, they’ll say “Paper or plastic?” And then, I’ll say: “I’d prefer something in a gold mesh.” Then, they’ll say: “Did you try our Ralph Lauren department?”

Which is funny. ‘Cause everyone knows Ralph Lauren doesn’t make anything in a gold mesh.

But, yesterday, when the woman said: “Paper or plastic?” I said: “I wonder if the terrorists are just isolated kind of people that are angry and took out their anger with an attack.”

I just blurted it out. I could tell the “Ralph Lauren” woman was embarassed, and tried to pretend that I had made such an obvious gaffe.

Then later I heard Bush say:

“Now, I understand some say, well, maybe they’re just isolated kind of people that are angry and took out their anger with an attack. That’s not how I view them.”

As you can imagine I felt duly chastised.

Then today I read the Carpetbagger who said:

As Dan Froomkin responded, “Question for the White House: Can you name one political leader who has said any such thing?” I’d add that if we expand the question beyond political leaders, can the White House name any American anywhere who’s made this argument?

I am that American. God, I feel so stupid.

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hip·po·pot·a·mus n. A notion, perhaps distinct from conventional wisdom, that needs to be verified by reality-based scrutiny.

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