Cooking with PFOA
As you may know, perfluorooctanoic acid, a chemical used in the manufacture of teflon has been designated a likely carcinogen.
I’ve been aware of this story for a few weeks (though, the link provided is dated today). What’s instensifying my reaction to the story is the Dada exhibit at the National Gallery of Art, which I saw last Sunday. I’d been under the pronception that the Dadaist movement was kind of a sham, but my impression now is that the Dadaists were expressing something fairly clearly: that the world had become synthetic, and the result of the derivative form was the extinction of conscience.
What then is the hope of the individual in a time where the synthetic reigns? The hope is that the individual belligerently, and with a sense of humor, eradicates the mundane. Better if he does it in a smashing motion. Take for instance this poster for a Dada exhibition:
I saw that and imagined an artist commissioned to create a fashionable event poster with the understanding that he shouldn’t color outside of the box. Having finished the poster, the artist took an enormous blotter and stamped “DADA” all over it, muttering to himself, color outside this. I have no idea, of course, what was actually going throught he artist’s mind, but that’s what the image evokes.
Back to teflon. What substance better symbolizes the lifestyle of the synthetic better than teflon? And how perfect it is that the manufacture of teflon uses a carcinogen.
So, I hope it’s in the best spirit of the Dadaists that I present the first in a series of recipes. (With assistance from the History of Plastics)
Tuna a la Perfluorooctanoic Acid Stuffed with Oleo
1.) Lightly harpoon medium-sized tuna, removing dolphin as necessary.
2.) While out hunting tuna, use the time to heat toaster oven. Heat to 11 degrees Kelvin plus one degree for every pound over atan(1/3).
3.) Pump freon into toaster overn, and cook tuna until dead.
4.) Stuff with oleo.
5.) Wrap with saran as a garnish.
Bon appetit!
February 21st, 2006 at 9:42 pm
This is just brilliant.
Cook tuna until dead.
ROFL
I’ve been reducing my family’s exposure to teflon for years. I only buy pro-stick pans. I’m also right about nutrasweet but it’ll take years for that to be accepted as well. Oh - and MSG - gag. Try getting that stuff out of your diet. It’s everywhere.
February 24th, 2006 at 9:10 am
You forgot the mercury.
July 18th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Funny.