alternative hippopotamus

progressive cyberdadaism from our nation’s capital

January 31, 2006

In Defense of Black Box Voting

by @ 10:49 am. Filed under Uncategorized

Good morning, shrill, America-hating youngsters. It is I, Pavlov Chien.

While the Hippo has left instructions for me to post in support of the Fitzpatrick amendment, I have a conflict of interest.

In the hope that this site could generate a few America-loving cash dinars, I’ve been hard at work lobbying clients from my former place of business, the Neoconservative Environmental Institute. Finally, when I was at the point where another caviar and champagne luncheon would make me toss my Armanis, I landed our (really my) first sponsor.

They’re the good people at Islamic Jihad Electronic Warfare and Voting, International. Their product, the Black Box 2006 is the ultimate advance in Securanomics. That’s the scientific theory that the less transparent a government is, the more likely that the government will maximize corporate profits. Those profits will then be used to improve the working of government. After all, champagne and caviar luncheons don’t come cheap.

Think of Securanomics as trickle-down privacy. Secrecy at the military-industrial complex level of society- that’s the highest, trickles down as lower taxes for the very wealthy. This then trickles down as privacy for the upper middle class. As far as we can see, everyone else receives no benefit. But, that is completely unimportant.

The recent AP-Ipsos Poll should have all Americans concerned: (MSNBC)

WASHINGTON - In an ominous election-year sign for Republicans, Americans are leaning sharply toward giving Democrats control of Congress, an AP-Ipsos poll finds. Democrats are favored 49 percent to 36 percent.

We, and the good people at Islamic Jihad Electronic Warfare and Voting, International, take this as a warning that state-of-the-art non-verifiable voting needs to be rolled out as soon as possible.

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5 Responses to “In Defense of Black Box Voting”

  1. eRobin Says:

    Thanks for the link, Pavlov. You’re right to be concerned. Non-verifiable voting is your only hope.

    (It’s the Fitzpatrick amendment - my new bestest Republican friend in Congress would probably want me to make that correction.)

  2. pavlov Says:

    It’s all just one big Fitz to me. But, of couse, America-hating youngster, I shall repair the damage I have done forwith.

  3. eRobin Says:

    More news here. Pavlov will be happy.

  4. solyak1 Says:

    Array

  5. dorhuya Says:

    Array

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hip·po·pot·a·mus n. A notion, perhaps distinct from conventional wisdom, that needs to be verified by reality-based scrutiny.

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