alternative hippopotamus

The key word was anger. The power brokers were angry for writing checks that haven’t changed the balance of power. The grass-roots was angry for what they saw as a party oblivious to the needs of the middle class, unable to get their message across.

Me? I drove there straight from work, and didn’t have the chance to pick up anything to eat. They had some interesting appetizer rolls and chocolate chip cookies, but not the kind of meal that would keep me from getting cranky. There I was with grass-roots middle-class appetizer angst, and I had forgot to bring my torch.

To give you a feel for how surreal these gatherings can get, I’d like to recall an actual conversation I had when I first walked in. I should mention that, as an advocate of both public transportation and biking in the District, I tend to mention both pretty often in conversation. I should also mention that, while Truman Capote had 94% total recollection, I have more like 54% total recollection. I can remember everything I said (50%), but I’m a little fuzzy on what other people might have said (4%).

So, I said: “I’m encouraged that Maryland DOT has a strong program for public transportation that includes an excellent system of bike paths.” The guy that I was talking to said “I’ve found public transportation to be sorely lacking, and I don’t see biking as a reasonable option. I prefer to take hours driving a short distance to my downtown office.”

At this point I detected the faint aroma of SUV on his breath, and started to glaze over. I tried to change the subject. I said: “Nice place, huh?” SUV Guy said: “Not to mention all the Emmies.” He was looking at a large display of awards on a nearby shelf. “Those are Emmies?” I wondered. “Those are Emmies,” he said with certainty. “And this one, is that an Oscar?” “No,” said SUV Guy, with more than a little contempt. “Oscars don’t have wings.” “Maybe they’re flying Oscars,” I posited. “Maybe,” he aquiesced.

Apparently, the home was owned by a successful producer, who had clearly won a lot of Emmies, and a lot of some other award that looks like a flying Oscar.

After the Dean talk, SUV Guy was clearly steamed. “I’m concerned that we’re gathered here, but I don’t hear a positive Democratic message. The slogan ‘We can do better?’ That’s something you say to a kid when his little-league team just lost the game.” I often hear the point raised that the Democratic Party needs to come up with a clearer message. I’d just never heard it put that way before. SUV Guy had the kind of bile I can only manage with hunger pangs.

One of the DNC folks explained that while the slogan “We can do better” tests poorly in blue states, it’s off the charts in the Mid-West. Who knew? I thought vaguely of slogans that I would have written. Finely honed polemics involving jobs going overseas, wars of choice fought to support corporate interests, and occasional vampire allusions. Slogans that probably would not have tested well in Kansas.

I was surprised at what emerged as the number #1 issue among attendees: electoral fraud. It’s not that this doesn’t bother me. I can picture too easily, Karl Rove agonizing over a mess of potage and chilled Sauvignon Blanc how best to screw over the voters in Cleveland precinct 12. It’s just that I would have figured that this would have been dwarfed by the indictments of Tom Delay and Scooter Libbey, and the total meltdown of the Bush administration in the polls.

Susan Turnbull pointed out that electoral fraud in its present form really has several key components: 1.) electronic voting machines and lack of a paper trail. 2.) Controlling the placement of voting machines to minimize votes in key districts. 3.) Preventing registered voters from voting. Like in Georgia where they require voters to purchase identification before they can cast a vote, a defacto poll tax. 4.) Vampires. There was something about vampires.