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Bush: Scalito is the Nominito

by kim @ 10:26 am. Filed under Uncategorized

Washington DC. This morning, as he started to recover his trademark smirk Commander Bunnypants spat out his most recent #1 choice for a branch of government he doesn’t really care for, anyway. “I believe I have timed this well,” he cackled. “Folks have already forgot about my first deadbeat nom, and this thing with Scooter will blow over well before the mid-terms.”

Asked to explain his choice, Senior White House Official A responded: “We’re giving up on the Neocons for right now, and sticking with the Fundies and the Freepers. That should gin up approval Big Time. Heh. Big Time. Indeed.”

Yet, liberal Democrats remained skeptical. “Why Commander Bunnypants wants to turn this country into a right-wing pseudo-Christian theocracy is beyond me,” one Senator noted. “It will take at least a generation to undo the damage this president has done to the country through his judicial picks alone.”

Still, Bush nominee Scalito remained upbeat. “I totally rock,” he said in his typical light-hearted manner, justifying Bush’s choice. He added, regarding his controversial dissent on Planned Parenthood v. Casey, requiring a woman to notify her husband if she wished to have an abortion: “It totally rocks to be a dude. It’s just awesome.”

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95. Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)
— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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October 31, 2005

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