alternative hippopotamus

progressive cyberdadaism from our nation’s capital

September 6, 2005

Wingnut of the Week

by kim @ 11:12 am. Filed under Uncategorized

Rockville High History teacher, Michael Calderon: (from antiwar.com)

Al-Qaeda now has irrefutable evidence that America is breakable and beatable. At least twenty percent of the country can be counted on providing a seditious level of psychological comfort for the enemy by falling into one of these four categories: protesters, anti-American cynics; criminals; indifference. Of that twenty percent, perhaps .5 to one percent can be counted on self-interested criminal actions and or direct acts of violent, politically-motivated treason against their country. Al-Qaeda now knows that Homeland Security has squandered millions, perhaps billions in useless exercises and programs than have fallen flat when reality struck as in what has occurred in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast regions. A WMD attack must be coordinated and launched against two distinct targets, preferably East and West (Left) Coast cities. A nuke or two, even if low yield, will devastate America. A Hobbesian ‘war of all against all’ will emerge as the criminal, opportunistic, and seditious elements strike out. Expect heavily armed and infuriated conservatives to launch a cleansing war against the traitors. The armed will mow down the mostly unarmed segments, especially those elements that devoted forty-plus years to anti-American hatred to destroy this country. Should the likes of Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, Michael Parenti, Michael Moore, Ward Churchill, Dennis[?] Raimondo, et al. act out their sedition in a just-nuked America, expect their bodies to be found shot full of holes. Expect gun battles at banks, food stores, ATMs, gas stations, and outside hospitals. Leftist professors will be strung up. It will be every man, woman, and child for themselves.

“Expect heavily armed and infuriated conservatives to launch a cleansing war against the traitors.” Okay. I mean that’s a tad distopic, but I’ll try to imagine the 101st keyborne division taking over. I’m picturing Jonah Goldberg in full military fatigues. He’s barking orders to Michelle Malkin who is similarly attired:

GOLDBERG: Here’s your mission, Lieutenant Malkin. I want you to round up all the lefty bloggers, and hold them prisoner at the Dupont Circle Starbucks.
MALKIN: They’re probably there to begin with, Captain Goldberg.
GOLDBERG: Then it’s Mission Accomplished, Lieutenant. Just watch ‘em until I get back.
MALKIN: Where are you going, Captain?
GOLDBERG: To take out the Brookings Institute. And then the Center for American Progress.
MALKIN: Won’t you need reinforcements?
GOLDBERG: Negative, Lieutenant. I’m a conservative. And I’m infuriated. That’s all the firepower I’ll need.

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